Public Domain Articles from the National Institute of Mental Health (Click 'back' on your browser to return to the CPC website.)

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by Kay Klein, M.Ed., MSW

"But I don't have a book about a plane crashing into a building," exclaimed the four-year-old girl, somewhat frustrated by what I guessed to be numerous attempts to locate such a book. "I don't either," I agreed, remembering over the past week how often I wished I had had that book to read with young children -- to help them think, process, and talk about the disastrous events of airplanes crashing into buildings, people feeling unsafe, and hearing things that sounded very confusing. This child's response came unexpectedly in the middle of the children's sermon time in worship as we were talking about Jesus and the disciples in a boat being tossed and whirled about by a sudden and frightening storm.

In the story, after he calmed the storm, Jesus asked "What are you worried about?" As I talked with the children that morning we came up with some concerns the disciples may have shared: the wind had blown so furiously that the boats had been scattered and maybe they felt lost; someone may have been injured because they got hit on the head; the waves had left lots of water in the boat and it was really messy and they had to clean it up; and perhaps somebody else felt scared and surprised. The story goes on to tell us that Jesus reminded the disciples to have courage (faith) even in the "storm" and even when we can't see God, remember God is with us all.

As I have listened to, felt, and observed children's responses to the tragedy of September 11, the mixed emotions of confusion, anger, disbelief, awe, surprise, grandiosity, insecurity, anxiety and many more have surfaced relative to who individual children are. Certainly children's ages, temperaments, and typical coping behaviors all influence their reactions to stories they hear and pictures they see on the television or in the newspapers. Many older children and teenagers are relating this event to the assassination of John F. Kennedy and now feel they "are part of history." Other children have had tons of questions and intrigue over the matter and find fascination with the details, while their peers are reluctant to talk much because they're not ready to talk or they honestly don't have much to say. But the "worry" has come to each child in some fashion and has made an impact upon his or her life.

Living through this period of disequilibrium (much like a small boat getting tossed and whirled by a surprise storm) in our world may result in children feeling tried, emotional turmoil around them. As we adults struggle to "manage" our anxiety, fears, confusion, and disorganization, there are some pro-active things we can do to provide for the well-being of our children:

• Listen and don't dismiss worries. Be available to children to talk and listen, and encourage them to discuss their fears. Talking about what has happened does not make children fearful, nor will it make them violent. It is the act itself which is 'frightening and talking about it can help the healing. But also respect a child's wishes not to talk.
  
  

• Structure and familiar routine is comforting and helps create a sense of security. As much as possible continue daily schedules.
  
  

• Use opportunities to teach tolerance of and respect for differences among people. Help children keep things in perspective. Young children do not have the ability to think through and understand all the news being broadcast over the television and radio, or what they overhear adults saying to one another. With older children and adolescents, correcting misinformation and helping them discuss persona feelings is beneficial.
  
  

• Provide spiritual support to children. We don't have to have all the answers. We too can ask, "What are you worried about?" and listen, and then remind children to have courage -- God is with us no matter what happens.

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